I'm Alone Forever
by The real Anna-Tess-and Fantine
Summary: An angsty New Moon one shot. Edward goes to Chicago to visit his parents' graves and tells them about his life including Bella.


Okay, so I had this idea one-day in the car. It's a ton of Edward angst from New Moon. He's wandering around and comes to his parents' graves and tells them about his life. REVIEW!

**I'm All Alone. Forever.**

I walked down the streets of Chicago trying to get her angelic face out of my mind. Why did I leave her? It was a daily struggle not to return to her window, to grovel at her knees for her to take me back. But I couldn't do that to her. She deserved to have a fulfilling human life, to have children, and grow old with the man of her choice. I deserved to burn in hell.

I stopped at the cemetery and walked slowly in. I wandered around in the statues and monuments until I found the Masen mausoleum. I opened the iron gate and stepped into the stone building that my entire family was buried in. My parents' graves were on the bottom, so I sat down in front of them.

"All right," I sighed. "I honestly cannot believe I've stooped to talking to the dead, but I'm so lonely." I sighed again and began to tell my story to a grave. I need professional help.

"I know it's been a very long time, and for that I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't really feel the urge to talk to you. I always had other things on my mind. Well that's changed. But before I talk about my heartbreak, let me start at the beginning.

"Father, I know you died before I even got sick, but you should know that both Mother and I mourned immensely for you. I still miss you sometimes.

"Mother, when I got sick, you tended to me diligently. Then we both went into the hospital. I don't know if you remember Dr. Cullen, but he saved my life, just like you asked him to. He made all the difference. However, at times I wish I had died. He didn't bring me back to life, he damned me. He made me a vampire. Soon, others joined our family. First Esme, then Rosalie, Emmett, and finally Jasper and Alice. The house was filled with couples; I was completely alone. I didn't feel that I needed someone to complete me, so I never looked. Then, we moved to Forks, Washington.

"We had to enroll in high school. It was terribly monotonous, but I dealt with it. My bloodlust was completely under control; I was rarely ever tempted. Until, of course, Isabella Swan came along. Her blood was a siren call to me, and not only that, I couldn't read her mind. I didn't like the fact that a simple girl threatened me, so I ran away to Alaska for a week.

"Then I realized I was being absurd. Why should a simple human drag me away from all that I loved? So I went back. I reigned in the monster in my head, and it was easier to be around her. But, she was different. She was interesting. She wasn't like the rest of the girls, who only like me because of my looks, she wanted to know what was on the inside. She constantly wanted to help me.

"One day, I almost gave away our secret. She was almost hit by a truck, and I saved her. I kept telling myself it was because if her blood were spilled I would've gone into a frenzy, but I knew that was a lie. The truth was that I cared deeply for her and couldn't stand to see her hurt.

"Unfortunately, she started asking questions, questions I couldn't answer. So I ignored her for a full, agonizing six weeks. Then, the unthinkable happened.

"I fell in love with her. She was so beautiful and kind, helpful and compassionate, loving and truthful, it was impossible to neglect her. I told her about us, and she didn't even flinch. She accepted me, monster or no. She loved me. And I loved her, I still love her. But I screwed it all up.

"She wanted to be like me. She wanted me to make her a vampire, but I couldn't take away her soul even if it meant spending eternity with her. I just couldn't do it. So she grew older and turned eighteen, something she was dreading.

"My surrogate sister Alice, being a party animal, threw her a birthday party. Everything was running smoothly until she cut her finger on a piece of paper. Jasper, my brother, attacked her, but I saved her, not before she sliced her whole arm on a glass bowl first though. She was such a klutz!

"Anyway, Carlisle fixed her up fine, but I knew what I had to do. I had to leave her. I had to throw out the only woman I ever loved. It almost killed me, but I did it. You should have seen her face…so upset, but anger and betrayal brewing under the surface. I left her there in that forest, alone. My family and I left Forks, never to be seen again. I wish I could go back in time and change everything.

"I hope she'll be able to move on, but deep down, I now she won't. She was just as in love with me as I was with her. I was just too blind to see it.

"Anyway, that's what my life has become, a nightmare. I became a monster, I fell in love, and I tossed out that same love. I hope you can understand what I've been through, but then again, you probably can't even hear me. I'm so messed up…" Just then my cell phone rang. I looked at the number. Rosalie? What could she possibly want? I panicked; thinking someone in my family was in trouble.

"Rosalie? Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Um, no, it's kind of a long story, but you should know. Alice doesn't want me to tell you, but I think you deserve to know, after all you did love her…" Something was wrong with Bella?

"Rose, just say it."

"Bella's…" What was wrong?

"Rose, please, I don't have time!"

"Oh yes, my liege, you're busy wallowing in grief. Forgive me oh King Edward, I shouldn't have insulted you!" I didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Rose, say it and hang up."

"She's dead. Jumped off a cliff. We think she committed suicide. I'm so sorry Edward…" I was silent; totally dead inside. I hung up and ran out of the cemetery, plans of Volterra occupying my numb mind…

This was just an angsty one-shot I wanted to write. Ok, nothing else.

**REVIEW!!**


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